Saturday, September 3, 2016
CT-77482 Troop Reports
On the Clone Detachment boards, they have a service record where you post your troops and you get points. And if you post in character, like a mission debrief, you get double points. So, since I get a kick out of writing those, I've decided that I'll be using this as my report archive.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Mission: Cub Scout Blue/Gold Banquet, Marietta
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Cub Scout Blue/Gold Banquet, Marietta
Mission Status: Successful
Date: 22-Feb-15
Report:
1700
Mongrel children. They are small, rambunctious, and smell like cheese. But scouts are different. They smell like the outdoors. And they invite us to banquets which is nice. So we pack up the LAAT/Soul, RexWife and myself, and launch to the slightly unknown.
1730
Arrive at the banquet location, a church. Having been informed that we are a surprise yet not thinking of that for our "street" clothes, we have to cover up detachment racing shirts. Must plan better for future undercover missions. Meet the contact and plan a covert way to enter with gear. Spread the word to the mongrel troops.
We will also be working with an Imposter Vader today. Normally there is distance kept between non-501st costumers and the legion members, but Imposter Vader was not only willing to kit up with us, he was excited and was slightly star struck but a good guy and easy to work with. We get ready.
1800
"Go time". Scout provided handlers block windows from the hall to the dining area where the mongrel children scouts are eating. They throw open the doors and we march in. Excitement happens. Pictures, high fives, judging the cake contest (side note to procurement: Seriously, install something that lets me eat cake!) and I started a dance party. Like I do.
1900
At the request of the event coordinators, we quietly head out so the scouts can continue their meals and receive their awards for being scouts. We de-kit and head out to get post-troop donuts. Because while post-troop meals are good, post-troop donuts are better.
Unfortunately, no pictures were provided by the "handlers" so we have no pictorial record of this event.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Cub Scout Blue/Gold Banquet, Marietta
Mission Status: Successful
Date: 22-Feb-15
Report:
1700
Mongrel children. They are small, rambunctious, and smell like cheese. But scouts are different. They smell like the outdoors. And they invite us to banquets which is nice. So we pack up the LAAT/Soul, RexWife and myself, and launch to the slightly unknown.
1730
Arrive at the banquet location, a church. Having been informed that we are a surprise yet not thinking of that for our "street" clothes, we have to cover up detachment racing shirts. Must plan better for future undercover missions. Meet the contact and plan a covert way to enter with gear. Spread the word to the mongrel troops.
We will also be working with an Imposter Vader today. Normally there is distance kept between non-501st costumers and the legion members, but Imposter Vader was not only willing to kit up with us, he was excited and was slightly star struck but a good guy and easy to work with. We get ready.
1800
"Go time". Scout provided handlers block windows from the hall to the dining area where the mongrel children scouts are eating. They throw open the doors and we march in. Excitement happens. Pictures, high fives, judging the cake contest (side note to procurement: Seriously, install something that lets me eat cake!) and I started a dance party. Like I do.
1900
At the request of the event coordinators, we quietly head out so the scouts can continue their meals and receive their awards for being scouts. We de-kit and head out to get post-troop donuts. Because while post-troop meals are good, post-troop donuts are better.
Unfortunately, no pictures were provided by the "handlers" so we have no pictorial record of this event.
Squiggle out.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Editorial: Why Ki Adi Mundi deserved his death.
Ki Adi Mundi was the worst Jedi ever even if he never fell to the dark side. He is the epitome of what the Jedi would have become if they hadn't been wiped out by the superior forces of the clones. To start, in Phantom Menace, he refuses to believe the Sith have returned even after a fellow Jedi Master tangles with one in a lightsaber duel on Tattooine. Then when Anakin is being interviewed he has the /superior/ perception to realize that Anakin is thinking about his mother whom he's been apart from for the first time in his life for all of 2-3 days. That's like telling the fish you just pulled out of the ocean "Your thoughts dwell on the water". No shit, genius. Also, the fact that this is said by the ONLY Jedi to be allowed a family is telling. While it's stated that he does his best to not be attached to his family, it never says he's successful. Either way, he's allowed a family but a child can't think of his mother? He's elevating himself above everyone else either on purpose or just by coincidence.
Now let's discuss his hypocrisy. Above, he refuses to believe Qui-Gon about a new Sith. Now he refuses to believe that a former Jedi Master and one of the Lost Jedi, would fall to being a terrorist. "He's a political idealist, not a murderer." Count Dooku has done so much to the galaxy that is can be believed that he is a terrorist. That Padme's thoughts go to Dooku as the culprit is telling about his reputation. But here we have Ki Adi Mundi talking about how he's just a political idealist. This is now twice that his wishy-washy brain functions cause issues not just for the Jedi or the senate but the WHOLE DAMNED GALAXY.
But here's the kicker. His one contribution to the progression of the third film is even worse than Jar Jar moving to grant Palpatine emergency powers. Jar Jar did that because he was manipulated and maneuvered into it by superior intellects. Let's be honest here, Jar Jar was an idiot. How he got elected a senator speaks volumes about how and why Palpatine was able to come to power. But that was known. Jar Jar is stupid. Ki Adi Mundi on the other had was supposed to be a great and intelligent Jedi Master. "If he does not give up his emergency power after the destruction of Grievous, then he must be forcibly removed from office." This statement leaves no room for other options. It is an absolute, like the Sith are known for. He doesn't say "If he doesn't give up the power, we have a vote of no confidence" or "... we have the Senate Guard take him into custody". He says "He must be forcibly removed from office". That isn't his call to make. He was voted into office by the people of Naboo and the senate as a whole. If he refuses to give up his power then he is still a rightfully elected member of the Naboo senate delegation.
This statement is more telling than first thought. He doesn't say "We'll have to arrest him". "...he must be forcibly removed from office". What if Palpatine refuses to give up the powers but will step down once a proper recall election is processed? Palpatine was a brilliant politician. Maybe he has a plan to go through a vote so that it's harder for a future chancellor to get and keep the kind of power he'd been granted so easily. Sure the Jedi have suspicious that Palpatine isn't all he's cracked up to be, but it's not until Anakin comes back from Palpatine admitting he's a Sith before it's confirmed. Not until then, well after Ki Adi Mundi has already stated that Palpatine must be forcibly removed from power, is it understood that he's right. The argument could be made that he's a Jedi Master and can see the future or can feel something strange or some other magic trick. But let's not forget that Mundi has been around the chancellor for years. He defended Dooku in the chancellor's office, 5 feet from him. He hasn't had any misgivings about the chancellor prior to his 'remove him" statement. And he says this from the outer rim planet of Mygeeto. Light years away from the chancellor himself.
Let's also keep in mind that we're talking about a man that didn't see 2 minutes into the future, enough to see his entire regiment of Galactic Marines turn on him. Mundi is "bravely" leading a charge across a bridge when he's brought down. He doesn't foresee Bacara getting the communication in the middle of a battle. He doesn't foresee the order from Bacara to the marines around Mundi to kill the Jedi. He doesn't even foresee them taking up a firing squad position. He turns around as they're preparing to fire. So to say that Mundi foresaw Palpatine needing to be forcibly removed from office is delusional. He didn't know. Yet he's the reason that Palpatine was able to take over. On his suggestion, Mace Windu takes some Jedi and confronts the Sith Lord. Had they let that work out in the senate or the courts, things might have ended differently. Instead, we saw the results. Windu is killed. Anakin is turned. An emperor is crowned. All because Ki Adi Mundi decided on his own that Palpatine had to be removed forcibly.
Say what you will about Jar Jar. He's a terrible character, sure. Stupid, comic relief, stupid. But Ki Adi Mundi is a thousand times worse than Jar Jar because he knew better. He tried to spark revolution and instead brought down the entire Jedi order and sent the galaxy into twenty years of darkness. And that's worse than falling to the dark side.
Now let's discuss his hypocrisy. Above, he refuses to believe Qui-Gon about a new Sith. Now he refuses to believe that a former Jedi Master and one of the Lost Jedi, would fall to being a terrorist. "He's a political idealist, not a murderer." Count Dooku has done so much to the galaxy that is can be believed that he is a terrorist. That Padme's thoughts go to Dooku as the culprit is telling about his reputation. But here we have Ki Adi Mundi talking about how he's just a political idealist. This is now twice that his wishy-washy brain functions cause issues not just for the Jedi or the senate but the WHOLE DAMNED GALAXY.
But here's the kicker. His one contribution to the progression of the third film is even worse than Jar Jar moving to grant Palpatine emergency powers. Jar Jar did that because he was manipulated and maneuvered into it by superior intellects. Let's be honest here, Jar Jar was an idiot. How he got elected a senator speaks volumes about how and why Palpatine was able to come to power. But that was known. Jar Jar is stupid. Ki Adi Mundi on the other had was supposed to be a great and intelligent Jedi Master. "If he does not give up his emergency power after the destruction of Grievous, then he must be forcibly removed from office." This statement leaves no room for other options. It is an absolute, like the Sith are known for. He doesn't say "If he doesn't give up the power, we have a vote of no confidence" or "... we have the Senate Guard take him into custody". He says "He must be forcibly removed from office". That isn't his call to make. He was voted into office by the people of Naboo and the senate as a whole. If he refuses to give up his power then he is still a rightfully elected member of the Naboo senate delegation.
This statement is more telling than first thought. He doesn't say "We'll have to arrest him". "...he must be forcibly removed from office". What if Palpatine refuses to give up the powers but will step down once a proper recall election is processed? Palpatine was a brilliant politician. Maybe he has a plan to go through a vote so that it's harder for a future chancellor to get and keep the kind of power he'd been granted so easily. Sure the Jedi have suspicious that Palpatine isn't all he's cracked up to be, but it's not until Anakin comes back from Palpatine admitting he's a Sith before it's confirmed. Not until then, well after Ki Adi Mundi has already stated that Palpatine must be forcibly removed from power, is it understood that he's right. The argument could be made that he's a Jedi Master and can see the future or can feel something strange or some other magic trick. But let's not forget that Mundi has been around the chancellor for years. He defended Dooku in the chancellor's office, 5 feet from him. He hasn't had any misgivings about the chancellor prior to his 'remove him" statement. And he says this from the outer rim planet of Mygeeto. Light years away from the chancellor himself.
Let's also keep in mind that we're talking about a man that didn't see 2 minutes into the future, enough to see his entire regiment of Galactic Marines turn on him. Mundi is "bravely" leading a charge across a bridge when he's brought down. He doesn't foresee Bacara getting the communication in the middle of a battle. He doesn't foresee the order from Bacara to the marines around Mundi to kill the Jedi. He doesn't even foresee them taking up a firing squad position. He turns around as they're preparing to fire. So to say that Mundi foresaw Palpatine needing to be forcibly removed from office is delusional. He didn't know. Yet he's the reason that Palpatine was able to take over. On his suggestion, Mace Windu takes some Jedi and confronts the Sith Lord. Had they let that work out in the senate or the courts, things might have ended differently. Instead, we saw the results. Windu is killed. Anakin is turned. An emperor is crowned. All because Ki Adi Mundi decided on his own that Palpatine had to be removed forcibly.
Say what you will about Jar Jar. He's a terrible character, sure. Stupid, comic relief, stupid. But Ki Adi Mundi is a thousand times worse than Jar Jar because he knew better. He tried to spark revolution and instead brought down the entire Jedi order and sent the galaxy into twenty years of darkness. And that's worse than falling to the dark side.
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Mission: Arm Presentation for Liam
Mission: Arm Presentation for Liam
Date: 10-Jan-15
Report:
Date: 10-Jan-15
Report:
I usually do these "in character" which is fun for me and I get a kick out of developing a character over time. This time is different.
There are things we do in the 501st that go beyond the normal troop, past just having fun, doing good for others or helping the community. In my year with the group I've experienced one and it was this troop. There's been article after article written about what happened so I'm not going to repeat what can be read elsewhere (like here in case you want to read it again). Instead I'm going to give my version of things.
Last October a friend of mine asked to help him out with a manning the booth at a Makers Faire. Someone that was supposed to be there couldn't make it and he didn't want to be alone. I asked the wife if she wanted to help out, she said sure and we go. It was stupidly cold for October. I couldn't get warm and the booth location we'd been given was under a tree so it was in perpetual shade. On top of that the wind was crazy! Luckily one of the R2 Builders that we were next to brought coffee which helped.
Sometime after the other two got got into kit, I was approached by a guy. He started talking about how he 3D prints prosthetics for people and how a young boy had asked for a clone-themed arm. At the time I wasn't sure what all we could do to help but I told him to get in touch with our PR people and at worst we could be there to help him present it. He did so and the presentation was set them pushed back and then finally set again for January 10th.
The wife and I get up early, drop the dogs off at boarding, come home, pack up and head out. It's around 2.5 hours from North Atlanta to Augusta where the presentation is to happen. A couple of stops for drinks and toilets but otherwise a a quick trip. We get to the area early and grab some food. We meet up with our officer and handler, head into the Regal Cinema and get directed to the party room where Liam will be presented with his arm and our dressing room. We meet John, our e-Nable contact, the guy I met at the Faire, and before we get too far into it, I take the below video of him describing the arm.
We kit up and head out to the hallway to prepare for Liam's arrival. He's in watching Big Hero Six (awesome movie) and we're going to be surprising him as he exits. As people start to leave that theater, we get ready. Liam comes out with his family. He's shocked. Stopped in his tracks, wide eyed, jaw dropped. It's one of those moments that gets burned into your mind. This kid was shocked. We move towards him and it's like the realization hits that we're not cardboard cutouts or statues. Hi world is turning.
We get him into the party room where his friends and family have been waiting (and being entertained by Squiggle) for him to arrive. John presents his arm. It's awesome. He knows how to use it already. Within the first minute of it being attached, he picks up a cup. Our officer inducts him in to the Friend of the Garrison program, gives him some swag from his new garrison and presents him with a clone helmet that she's painted to match the arm (that she also painted). This kid can't talk. All I can hear from inside my helmet is giggling and it's not mine. Liam has lost the ability to use words and instead has reached the giggling like Dash Parr from The Incredibles when he first runs over water. It's infection and it's awesome.
We walk around the theater lobby. We take pictures, people give interviews. When it's over, we head back to the dressing room and de-kit. We all head out to get another bite to eat before we make the trip back to Atlanta.
The wife and I have said from the start that we were just there to be window dressing. But in the context of a life changing event like this, that's a pretty amazing window to dress.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Mission: Superior Plumbing Holiday Party
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Superior Plumbing Holiday Party
Mission status: Donation pending
Date: 14-Dec-14
Report:
1345
15 minutes late for muster. Lord Vader, RexWife and some mongrel wanted to stop by to make a quick donation to Clark Christmas Kids final day. That trip over, we rush to the Burnswick Zone XL and I finally get to suit up. I feel at home in my armor, though a quick pre-armor recon determines that this should be an awesome troop.
1430
Now 30 minutes behind, it's time to start the fun. Make a quick stop by the petting zoo that contains an armadillo, some unnatural legless creatures, some bearded dragons and the pinnacle of all creation, a cute little monkey. Pinnacle's owner refuses to let me touch his monkey. Bribery, blending in and even crying doesn't work. Pinnacle must be angry at me. Will make amends as soon as I can.
Make my way to the face painter and deny her request to add paint to my bucket in the shape of a unicorn. Offered a stylish new hat that can be worn over my bucket. Demand that the colors match. Hat maker begins work. I'm pleased with the finished product and feel that it helped me blend in with the local population.
Mission: Superior Plumbing Holiday Party
Mission status: Donation pending
Date: 14-Dec-14
Report:
1345
15 minutes late for muster. Lord Vader, RexWife and some mongrel wanted to stop by to make a quick donation to Clark Christmas Kids final day. That trip over, we rush to the Burnswick Zone XL and I finally get to suit up. I feel at home in my armor, though a quick pre-armor recon determines that this should be an awesome troop.
1430
Now 30 minutes behind, it's time to start the fun. Make a quick stop by the petting zoo that contains an armadillo, some unnatural legless creatures, some bearded dragons and the pinnacle of all creation, a cute little monkey. Pinnacle's owner refuses to let me touch his monkey. Bribery, blending in and even crying doesn't work. Pinnacle must be angry at me. Will make amends as soon as I can.
Make my way to the face painter and deny her request to add paint to my bucket in the shape of a unicorn. Offered a stylish new hat that can be worn over my bucket. Demand that the colors match. Hat maker begins work. I'm pleased with the finished product and feel that it helped me blend in with the local population.
Some of the mongrels decide to engage in a war games simulation with the local youth. As expected they are soundly defeated like they were fighting a bunch of teddy bears. It was sad and reminds me why I'm happy to be a clone.
1700
Time to de-kit and mount up. RexWife's derpy fluffy companion creature requires walking so we skip any post-trooping eating and instead enjoy a quiet evening together. Mostly because no one was skilled enough to win the grand prize:
Squiggle out.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Mission: Children's Healthcare of Atlanta televised parade
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Children's Healthcare of Atlanta televised parade
Mission status: Cheer distributed
Date: 06-Dec-14
Report:
0600
As the alarm goes off, weeks of planning come to fruition. The modified kit is complete, packed and ready to go. The weather reminds me of Kamino. Home, or as close to one as any clone has. Rainy, cold, dark. Still, it's time to move so I do. RexWife at my side. We load up the LAAT/Soul, get the additional specialty tools and launch.
0730
Arrive and rally point. Greet fell clones as well as mongrels and their counterparts, Rebels. Tensions are high as the groups square off. Mongrels against their mortal enemies... other mongrels in different colors. Time to suit up.
0830
This planet's public transportation is rudimentary at best, but with such a large force, near 60, we find it necessary. The group breaks up to get into the 'cars' and a small force is left behind due to timing of the trains. After a bit of unplanned sight seeing (the mongrels ignored my instruction on which stop to get off on and the droid announcing what stop we were at; report to superiors has been filed), we finally found the rest of our force.
1000
Parade step-off. As usual, mongrels leave the leading to the clones, and this time we are many. Everyone has worn their celebratory finest.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Children's Healthcare of Atlanta televised parade
Mission status: Cheer distributed
Date: 06-Dec-14
Report:
0600
As the alarm goes off, weeks of planning come to fruition. The modified kit is complete, packed and ready to go. The weather reminds me of Kamino. Home, or as close to one as any clone has. Rainy, cold, dark. Still, it's time to move so I do. RexWife at my side. We load up the LAAT/Soul, get the additional specialty tools and launch.
0730
Arrive and rally point. Greet fell clones as well as mongrels and their counterparts, Rebels. Tensions are high as the groups square off. Mongrels against their mortal enemies... other mongrels in different colors. Time to suit up.
0830
This planet's public transportation is rudimentary at best, but with such a large force, near 60, we find it necessary. The group breaks up to get into the 'cars' and a small force is left behind due to timing of the trains. After a bit of unplanned sight seeing (the mongrels ignored my instruction on which stop to get off on and the droid announcing what stop we were at; report to superiors has been filed), we finally found the rest of our force.
1000
Parade step-off. As usual, mongrels leave the leading to the clones, and this time we are many. Everyone has worn their celebratory finest.
1230
No meal is as good as the one directly after a forced march through the cold rain. It was delicious. Much better than standard rations and I was able to warm up before heading home with RexWife to begin the Christmas season.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Mission: Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Sci Fi Spectacular Day 2
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Sci Fi Spectacular Day 2
Mission status: Success
Date: 29-Nov-14
Report:
1700
It has not been a great day.
Late hours working to repair armor and the chemical fumes have taken
their toll in the form of a migraine.
But I’m pleased to report that my boots and my cod are both fully
operational now. Load up the new gear in
the LAAT/Soul with RexWife as co-pilot and Dancing Scout in tow and proceed to
Symphony Hall. Headache persists.
1800
Arrive at Woodruff Arts Center and head in. Realize that Lord Vader left his suit
unattended. Remembering the cotton candy
incident from last week, I decide that it’s time to exact my revenge. In retrospect, I probably wouldn’t have done
that if it weren’t for the migraine.
Still, if you disagree with the medical droids, you take your future
into your own hands.
1830
Decide to help valets out as the doorman instead of the
vehicle mover. This works out best for
everyone. Plus it allows me a very light
work load to keep me available for as long as possible. Continue securing the area, taking pictures,
scaring children and confused adults wondering why we would be here for A
Christmas Carol. Pretend I can’t
talk. Works great. RexWife eets the narrator for the evening, Mr. George
Takei.
2100
Complete the troop and de-kit. Decide that food will make everything
better. Get French Toast and fresh apple
juice. Does cure what ails me. Except the migraine. Drive home.
Make it alive. RexWife didn’t
know I was blind in one eye all day. Won’t
tell her, either. Unless she reads this. Still worth it.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Sci Fi Spectacular
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Atlanta Symphony Orchestra Sci Fi Spectacular
Mission status: Success
Date: 28-Nov-14
Report:
1700
Depart Republic Barracks in LAAT/Soul with RexWife as co-pilot
and two handlers riding escort.
1800
Arrive at Woodruff Arts Center and head in. Go to conference room and begin getting
ready. Find that my little brother Boba
is present. Decide to do a little
harmless pranking of our younger clone brother.
Jam his big head into my bucket!
WHO’S JANGO’S FAVORITE NOW YOU LITTLE JERK?! MAKE JAZZ HANDS!!!!!
1830
Back in my own head and helmet, proceed to the ground floor,
navigating steps all by myself, and begin the requested ‘harassing’ of the
symphony patrons. Try to help valet or “legally
steal” cars. Local authorities are
informed and request that I stop. Try to
get a cab to take us and Admiral Daala to the Death Star. Unwilling cabbie drives off then returns for
pictures.
Decide that the action is inside and begin helping ticket
takers handle fraudulent patrons. Turns
out my understanding of the word “fraudulent” differs from theirs. Asked to stop that, too. Decide that I’ll be best used camouflaged inside
the Christmas tree to spot code violators.
It works.
1915
Other troopers don’t realize that I’m in the pictures as I
blend in too well. As we’re heading to
the break room, suffer catastrophic armor failure. Cod has broken away from the posterior armor
and snapped. Unable to affect
repairs. As this will take time to fix
and we will be back tomorrow, return to barracks so the repair droids can fix
my armor.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Belated Trick or Treating with Ryan
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Belated Trick or Treating with Ryan
Mission status: Success
Date: 22-Nov-14
Report:
1145
It’s been a rough morning.
Someone in the barracks, most likely RexWife, purchased an Xbox One and
I was required to install it. Me, the
one named Squiggle. Seriously? Standards in this army are slipping quickly. Load up the LAAT/Soul and launch.
1200
Arrive at rally point.
Home owners is prepared. Has
grilled goods, drinks and cotton candy.
1230
Forcibly removed from the cotton candy machine so that I can
kit up. Stuff hidden bag into helmet so
no one can tell I’m eating it.
1300
Lead a progression of troopers including RexWife, a newly
approved Jes Gistang (#2 in the world), some mongrels including pilots,
troopers, officers and his Lordship Vader.
Proceed to take pictures with entire neighborhood and make Ryan feel
special.
1315
Time for trick or treating.
I am chastised by Vader for eating cotton candy in my bucket. Seems I’m not as sly as I thought I was. Threats of force choking make me share my
delicious spun sugar treat with Vader.
Very demanding Sith lord. More
trick or treating.
1400
End-ex. Candy is had,
young Ryan is happy and his family is grateful.
Got contact’s back yard to take pictures. Try to start an air-band with RexWife. Turns out those are golf clubs. Go back to the cotton candy.
A better write-up can be found here: http://goo.gl/CZNWG6
Squiggle out.
Mission: Boo at the Zoo 2: Revenge of the Boo
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Boo at the Zoo 2: Revenge of the Boo
Mission status: Success
Date: 25-Oct-14
Report:
0700
Alarm! I’m
awake. RexWife is already out of the
room. It’s like this has all happened
before. The Kaminoans have a word for it
but it sounds like a whale call and I can’t even try to make the noise. It’s annoying. But enough about linguistics. It’s time to get this show on the road. Get up, shower, make myself the prettiest
clone there is… okay, this really is creepy.
Off we go. Stop for
Starbucks. Mmmmm.
0900
Arrive at zoo.
Unload. No troopers in the
parking lot. This is no longer a
familiar feeling and instead is eerie for other reasons. Finally locate mongrels. They are jealous of my redness. I let them revel in it.
1000
Begin the troop. Get
free candy. Redistribute it to
children. Take over bag handing out
station. Get in line for free coffee
before recognition of lack of an emergency induction port hits. Realize what’s happening. Look around for imposter me. That must be the explanation. Finally locate him. Try to get him to spill his secrets. He’s small but feisty. He gets my blaster. I steal his bag of candy. He wields the blaster. I give him back his candy. He’s holding all the cards. Take picture.
Cute kid.
1400
End of troop. Decide
that pizza is needed to help combat this feeling of familiarity. Get a cannoli to make sure it doesn’t come
back. All in all. A good day.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Boo at the Zoo
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Boo at the Zoo (Zoo Atlanta)
Mission status: Success
Date: 19-Oct-14
Report:
0700
Alarm! I’m awake. RexWife is already out of the room. Time to get this show on the road. Get up, shower, make myself the prettiest clone there is, pack up my kit as well RexWife’s and head out. Stop for Starbucks. Mmmmm.
0900
Arrive at zoo. Unload and meet in parking lot with the mongrel troops that want to see what perfection looks like. It looks like red.
1000
Begin the trooping. Get free candy. Redistribute it to children. Take over bag handing out station. Get in line for free coffee before recognition of lack of an emergency induction port hits. Make a note to get one installed. Tour the zoo. See pandas. Realize why they’re endangered. All they do is sleep and sleep. Find red pandas much cooler and more pleasing to the eye.
1200
Helmet fan malfunction causes an early withdrawal from the troop and a return to handler status.
1400
End of troop. As others de-kit, I find a ‘riding flamingo’ costume outside of the door. Name him Darth Pinkyfluffs the Sith Mount. Get Darth Maul. Take pictures. Life complete.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Boo at the Zoo (Zoo Atlanta)
Mission status: Success
Date: 19-Oct-14
Report:
0700
Alarm! I’m awake. RexWife is already out of the room. Time to get this show on the road. Get up, shower, make myself the prettiest clone there is, pack up my kit as well RexWife’s and head out. Stop for Starbucks. Mmmmm.
0900
Arrive at zoo. Unload and meet in parking lot with the mongrel troops that want to see what perfection looks like. It looks like red.
1000
Begin the trooping. Get free candy. Redistribute it to children. Take over bag handing out station. Get in line for free coffee before recognition of lack of an emergency induction port hits. Make a note to get one installed. Tour the zoo. See pandas. Realize why they’re endangered. All they do is sleep and sleep. Find red pandas much cooler and more pleasing to the eye.
1200
Helmet fan malfunction causes an early withdrawal from the troop and a return to handler status.
1400
End of troop. As others de-kit, I find a ‘riding flamingo’ costume outside of the door. Name him Darth Pinkyfluffs the Sith Mount. Get Darth Maul. Take pictures. Life complete.
Squiggle out.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Mission: Star Wars Reads Day @ Forsyth County Public Library
Squiggle reporting in.
Mission: Star Wars Reads Day @ Forsyth County Public Library
Mission status: Success
Date: 12-Oct-14
Report:
0900
Wake up to sounds of dog barking. Rexwife's dog, Ordo, is barking at Canadian geese in yard. Shake off impromptu party from last night, clean up, get a shower, pack up gear into the LAAT/Soul.
1230
Launch from barracks to rally point. Find mongrels and a wookiee at the location. Greeted in parking lot by librarians excited to see us. Did not expect female troopers. Keep secret that Rexwife isn't real Rex.
1300
Enter library and discover that they are also throwing an impromptu party. Make your own lightsaber (from balloons), googly-eyed ewok generation, mongrel bowling, Star Wars Kinect (on R2 Xbox 360), TK masks. The list goes on. Library is very excited to have us. Get dressed.
1400
Leave from "cast only" room to library proper. Engage children. Do so before Chewbacca steals all the thunder. Impressive creatures, wookiees. Now if only they could steal lightning that would be helpful.
Patrol the library. All children given opportunity to meet and take pictures. Those dressed as clones get more time. Must teach these children the proper way of things. Decide that child dressed as Anakin doesn't understand that he's the boss, not indiscriminate executioner of all things armored. Inform him. Lose arm.
1600
Party over. Winner of Wookiee Calling Contest crowned. Not a real wookiee child, but could have fooled us. De-kit after posing for picture with librarians. Obviously not warriors, had to explain how to hold blasters.
Barbecue for dinner. Good troop.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Star Wars Reads Day at Little Shop of Stories
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Star Wars Reads Day @ Little Shop of Stories
Mission status: Success
Date: 11-Oct-14
Report:
0730
Wake up. GAR-issued wife is ready with coffee and undersuit. Make note to let her dress up as Captain Rex with no fight this time. Pack up LAAT/Soul and launch to rally point. After coffee.
0900
Muster time. Meet up with Mongrel Republic Trooper. He's almost red, so he's cool. Herd the rest of the mongrels and generals into the section of the parking deck we've claimed for the Republic. Suit up.
1000
Invade Little Shop of Stories. Staff is very excited. Take pictures, instruct children to read, point to pictures to help make it more enjoyable for them. Find picture of me. Make sure everyone in the store knows about it.
1100
Random Starbucks employee takes a selfie with GAR-issued Rexwife. Employeed says "Thanks. I'd love to hang around, but I have to go back to work." Being the polite clone that I am, I offer to take employee's place so that she can have fun. Employee things this is a great idea.
Put on apron. Enter Starbucks. Greet guests. Take orders. Drink coffee. Make drinks. Caramel Macchiato. Pumpkin-spice Latte. Add whipped cream. I'm a good clone barrista. I make jokes at comments from patrons. "Did you have to get a second job? Don't they pay you in the Empire?" "Day job is on the Death Star. It's a death trap." Laughter. I'm a funny clone.
Fired by shift supervisor. Manager returning from lunch soon. I'm a "health code violation". Customers boo. I return to the children.
1220
Overstay end of troop. Having fun. Return to Republic Controlled Parking Deck. De-kit. Get raging burrito from Raging Burrito.
Squiggle out.
P.S. I have been issued a "hashtag". Unsure of what this is for or why it was issued, but it exists. #squiggleclone
Friday, October 3, 2014
Mission: Cub Scout Pack 40 Star Wars Night
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Cub Scout Pack 40 Star Wars Night
Mission status: Success
Date: 23 Sep-14
Report:
1700
Arrive at Castle White Hound. It contains, amazingly enough, two giant white dogs and 2 smaller feline creatures that don't care if I'm there or not. GAR-issued wife walks them while I try to sneak my kit into the LAAT/Soul. Doesn't work. Wife insists on "being" Captain Rex. I do a quick search for snipers. None seen. They must be good.
1730
Meet Mongrel TK at Mr. Taco for pre-troop Mexican food. It is delicious. Continue to Cub Scout meeting.
1830
Arrive at meeting location. Get lay of the land from Mongrel TD and greet Mongrel TB. Mongrels are starting to outnumber us. Must report this to Command.
1900
Get kitted up. Know audio cues that indicate when we're "on".
1930
Audio cue. We move on stage. It's like Dagobah in here. Someone went crazy with the smoke machine. Curtains open to Vader, Rex, a TB and me. TD is disguised as "cub master". A parent attempts to teach the scouts about lightsaber dueling after they each made their own. Vader is deft in his defense, even through the fog. A truly inspiring leader and warrior.
Observe and help with Arrow of Light ceremony, promoting a Cub Scout to a Boy Scout. Make sure to give him bunny ears in every picture.
2000
Meeting is over. We take pictures with children. TD stops pretending to be a "cub master" and dons his armor. Looks better. Mongrels look funny without their helmets on.
2030
De-kit and move en masse to the local cajun restaurant for beignets. Cajun place is closed. Go to Krispy Kreme. Better food anyways. Eat warm donuts with mongrels. Maybe they're not so bad.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Cub Scout Pack 40 Star Wars Night
Mission status: Success
Date: 23 Sep-14
Report:
1700
Arrive at Castle White Hound. It contains, amazingly enough, two giant white dogs and 2 smaller feline creatures that don't care if I'm there or not. GAR-issued wife walks them while I try to sneak my kit into the LAAT/Soul. Doesn't work. Wife insists on "being" Captain Rex. I do a quick search for snipers. None seen. They must be good.
1730
Meet Mongrel TK at Mr. Taco for pre-troop Mexican food. It is delicious. Continue to Cub Scout meeting.
1830
Arrive at meeting location. Get lay of the land from Mongrel TD and greet Mongrel TB. Mongrels are starting to outnumber us. Must report this to Command.
1900
Get kitted up. Know audio cues that indicate when we're "on".
1930
Audio cue. We move on stage. It's like Dagobah in here. Someone went crazy with the smoke machine. Curtains open to Vader, Rex, a TB and me. TD is disguised as "cub master". A parent attempts to teach the scouts about lightsaber dueling after they each made their own. Vader is deft in his defense, even through the fog. A truly inspiring leader and warrior.
Observe and help with Arrow of Light ceremony, promoting a Cub Scout to a Boy Scout. Make sure to give him bunny ears in every picture.
2000
Meeting is over. We take pictures with children. TD stops pretending to be a "cub master" and dons his armor. Looks better. Mongrels look funny without their helmets on.
2030
De-kit and move en masse to the local cajun restaurant for beignets. Cajun place is closed. Go to Krispy Kreme. Better food anyways. Eat warm donuts with mongrels. Maybe they're not so bad.
Squiggle out.
Mission: Suwanee Fest Parade
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Suwanee Fest Parade
Mission status: Success
Date: 20 Sep-14
Report:
0600
I have no idea how I'm awake. The "baseball" game last night had me up until just a few hours ago. No clone should have to pull back to back duty on 4 hours of sleep. But this parade needs a leader and it's up to me.
On a total side note, it was Star Wars night at the Braves game and while I wasn't in kit, holy hell I was in the "Sod Farm" of Turner Field just before Vader changed the outcome of the tool race and ERMAGERD IT WAS AWESOME!
Wake up GAR-issued wife to let her know I'm leaving. She insists, once again, on dressing up as Captain Rex. I appreciate the GAR giving me this wife, but if she keeps impersonating an officer, she's going to get us both shot.
0630
LAAT/Soul is loaded with kit and we're off. This is an interesting troop as I'm required to switch transports to a "loaner" and pilot this unreleased "2015 Mercedes Benz GLA". It also requires an "insurance release" to be filled out. And I thought the GAR was over zealous with their paperwork. Stop by office to print release. Continue on to Starbucks to procure coffee.
0715
Arrive at rendezvous point. Ancient parking attendant gets attitude as we try to land the transport. Add him to list of known hostiles. Find contact. Get better landing clearance and a "key to city hall". I see how people with power let it get to their heads. I now control the city of Suwanee, Georgia. It's nice. Ancient parking attendant might or might not be messed with. Lack of sleep is a pain for everyone.
0845
Begin trek in civilian clothing to LAAT/GLA rendezvous point. Hand contact "insurance release" and familiarize myself with the control setup. Similar to the LAAT/Soul I've been issued, but more comfortable. Luxurious. Make a note to request wage increase from GAR to purchase one of these for myself.
0930
Parade starts. I am immediately pulled over by Imposter Captain Rex and some mongrel.
As soon as I talk my way out of that ticket, I'm pulled over by Lord Vader. I give him the universal signal for "What'd I do, Boss?!". He lets me off with a warning.
Continue on with parade route. Co-pilot insists on playing Imperial March, Duel of the Fates and That Stupid Cantina Song from Episode IV repeatedly. Only reason she remains in the vehicle is to keep me from running over girl scouts in parade slot ahead of us.
1100
Parade is over. Carefully park LAAT/GLA in designated spot reserved for corporate partner. Give her back keys, walk off into the sunset... in my mind. Really just walk back to city hall to de-kit and proceed to help setup Blast-A-Trooper.
Squiggle Out.
Mission: Suwanee Fest Parade
Mission status: Success
Date: 20 Sep-14
Report:
0600
I have no idea how I'm awake. The "baseball" game last night had me up until just a few hours ago. No clone should have to pull back to back duty on 4 hours of sleep. But this parade needs a leader and it's up to me.
On a total side note, it was Star Wars night at the Braves game and while I wasn't in kit, holy hell I was in the "Sod Farm" of Turner Field just before Vader changed the outcome of the tool race and ERMAGERD IT WAS AWESOME!
Wake up GAR-issued wife to let her know I'm leaving. She insists, once again, on dressing up as Captain Rex. I appreciate the GAR giving me this wife, but if she keeps impersonating an officer, she's going to get us both shot.
0630
LAAT/Soul is loaded with kit and we're off. This is an interesting troop as I'm required to switch transports to a "loaner" and pilot this unreleased "2015 Mercedes Benz GLA". It also requires an "insurance release" to be filled out. And I thought the GAR was over zealous with their paperwork. Stop by office to print release. Continue on to Starbucks to procure coffee.
0715
Arrive at rendezvous point. Ancient parking attendant gets attitude as we try to land the transport. Add him to list of known hostiles. Find contact. Get better landing clearance and a "key to city hall". I see how people with power let it get to their heads. I now control the city of Suwanee, Georgia. It's nice. Ancient parking attendant might or might not be messed with. Lack of sleep is a pain for everyone.
0845
Begin trek in civilian clothing to LAAT/GLA rendezvous point. Hand contact "insurance release" and familiarize myself with the control setup. Similar to the LAAT/Soul I've been issued, but more comfortable. Luxurious. Make a note to request wage increase from GAR to purchase one of these for myself.
0930
Parade starts. I am immediately pulled over by Imposter Captain Rex and some mongrel.
As soon as I talk my way out of that ticket, I'm pulled over by Lord Vader. I give him the universal signal for "What'd I do, Boss?!". He lets me off with a warning.
Continue on with parade route. Co-pilot insists on playing Imperial March, Duel of the Fates and That Stupid Cantina Song from Episode IV repeatedly. Only reason she remains in the vehicle is to keep me from running over girl scouts in parade slot ahead of us.
1100
Parade is over. Carefully park LAAT/GLA in designated spot reserved for corporate partner. Give her back keys, walk off into the sunset... in my mind. Really just walk back to city hall to de-kit and proceed to help setup Blast-A-Trooper.
Squiggle Out.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Mission: Dragon Con Parade
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Dragon Con Parade
Mission status: Success
Date: 30-Aug-14
Report:
0600
I'm awake. It's still dark outside and as I come to consciousness I remember that I'm not home. I'm in the middle of the city. A city under siege. Get up, wake up GAR-issued wife, get into clothes suitable for eating in. Get breakfast.
0700
Breakfast is done. A filling meal helps a clone patrol for clankers much more effectively. Start to unpack gear and make sure it made the trip unharmed.
0745
Jango wannabe and other Jango wannabe arrive at hotel room to receive keys and then head to registration. They'll be watching the parade form the Hyatt balcony. I made sure to get them a good view. Not sure how I'm the only clone with a female Jango, but I'll take it.
0830
Official muster time. GAR-issued wife taken to dressing up like Captain Rex. While I'm sure the captain will find that endearing, I'm not sure how GAR Command will feel. None-the-less, she's sporting this new costume and insists on marching with The Legion in this parade. She's cute, so I allow this. We meet other troopers from other garrison's in the lobby and head to the rally point en masse. Pictures are taken, videos are shot. We clones maintain order between the mongrels, the glowsticks, the mercenaries and the Spaceballs. During this time, I met a nice citizen that said I had friends in Kings Landing. I'm not sure where that is, but I plan to visit it now.
1000
The parade begins. The Legion is at the very end, so we are unaware that things have started. We finally step off at 1030. Normal parade protocols are in place, though this time there is a jawa that seems to be causing trouble. I do my best to follow this little vermin and make sure it isn't stealing things but he eludes me. Clones represent well and there is almost every Captain or Commander in attendance. GAR-issued wife continues to be Rex. It got confusing when there were two of them.
I must admit that under normal circumstances, I would never have tried to steal/conscript children, but they were dressed up as Commander Appo and his lordship Vader and I felt they needed to join us in the parade. The "handlers" and the children's "mother" decided that it wasn't the best idea.
1200
Parade over, hotel room returned to. Heat exhaustion was contracted like a plague and had me in the room longer than anticipated.
1300
Food procured, feeling better, DRAGON CON!!!!
A side note: This name of "Squiggle" seems to be catching on. Therefore, I'm giving this a shot...
Squiggle Out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP_q3M5Ll-A
Mission: Dragon Con Parade
Mission status: Success
Date: 30-Aug-14
Report:
0600
I'm awake. It's still dark outside and as I come to consciousness I remember that I'm not home. I'm in the middle of the city. A city under siege. Get up, wake up GAR-issued wife, get into clothes suitable for eating in. Get breakfast.
0700
Breakfast is done. A filling meal helps a clone patrol for clankers much more effectively. Start to unpack gear and make sure it made the trip unharmed.
0745
Jango wannabe and other Jango wannabe arrive at hotel room to receive keys and then head to registration. They'll be watching the parade form the Hyatt balcony. I made sure to get them a good view. Not sure how I'm the only clone with a female Jango, but I'll take it.
0830
Official muster time. GAR-issued wife taken to dressing up like Captain Rex. While I'm sure the captain will find that endearing, I'm not sure how GAR Command will feel. None-the-less, she's sporting this new costume and insists on marching with The Legion in this parade. She's cute, so I allow this. We meet other troopers from other garrison's in the lobby and head to the rally point en masse. Pictures are taken, videos are shot. We clones maintain order between the mongrels, the glowsticks, the mercenaries and the Spaceballs. During this time, I met a nice citizen that said I had friends in Kings Landing. I'm not sure where that is, but I plan to visit it now.
1000
The parade begins. The Legion is at the very end, so we are unaware that things have started. We finally step off at 1030. Normal parade protocols are in place, though this time there is a jawa that seems to be causing trouble. I do my best to follow this little vermin and make sure it isn't stealing things but he eludes me. Clones represent well and there is almost every Captain or Commander in attendance. GAR-issued wife continues to be Rex. It got confusing when there were two of them.
I must admit that under normal circumstances, I would never have tried to steal/conscript children, but they were dressed up as Commander Appo and his lordship Vader and I felt they needed to join us in the parade. The "handlers" and the children's "mother" decided that it wasn't the best idea.
1200
Parade over, hotel room returned to. Heat exhaustion was contracted like a plague and had me in the room longer than anticipated.
1300
Food procured, feeling better, DRAGON CON!!!!
A side note: This name of "Squiggle" seems to be catching on. Therefore, I'm giving this a shot...
Squiggle Out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP_q3M5Ll-A
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Mission: Telus Night at the Museum IV
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Telus Night at the Museum IV
Mission status: Success
Date: 09-Aug-14
Report:
1430
Night ops always make me twitchy. But they're part of the job, so we do them. Load up ground transport and GAR-issued wife and move out to Telus Science Museum.
1515
Make pitstop at "hobby" store to pick up more cyanoacrylate glue.
1550
Decide that food will make night op possible and keep GAR-issued wife from stabbing me. Indulge in "fast food". Grilled cheese, ham and tomato. Will discuss adding these to ration packs with procurement. Delicious.
1605
Arrive at Telus Science Museum. Meet large contingent of mongrel troops from several garrisons as well as Commander Doom, CC-12358. Excited to have a fellow clone. We're great alone but better in numbers. Proceed to explore the museum as I'm a curious clone and have never been to one before. Discover that this planet used to be inhabited by giant killing machines called "dinosaurs". Decide they remind me of dewbacks and make a note to find and domesticate one.
1730
Begin to suit up. As is right, mongrels will have 2 1-hour shifts in the public eye separated by 1-hour breaks but clones will have 4 hours of continuous trooping. We must show our younger and less perfect troopers how it's done.
1800
Move into position. An onslaught of civilians takes place. They are requesting something called an 'autograph'. I proceed to sign so many papers with my ID number that they become a single line. A handler suggests the name "Squiggle" and nickname might be sticking. Not sure how I feel about this.
2000
Doom and I decide that we are causing too much of a traffic jam and that we should let others get the attention for an hour, so we take a break. Discover coded messages on garrison CO's refreshment can. Share refreshment with him.
2100
Break is over. Time to get back to work. Move to hourly character parade places and get handed "confetti cannon". I'm excited that I'm now combat effective. The parade begins and as we move to our places, the signal is given and I launch my cannon... misfire. Try again. And again. Cannon is jammed. Jedi General asks for the cannon and I hand it to him as ordered. TIme is ticking by, the offensive is coming to an end. General tries, nothing. Tries again, nothing. One last time and KABLOOM!. General was successful in unjamming confetti cannon but hit Commander Doom in the back with the spray. Luckily the commander's armor protects him. Will recommend arms training for generals as shooting your commanders in the back goes against everything the GAR stands for.
After the excitement of the parade, Doom and myself decide that we will roam and avoid any Jedi with weapons other than lightsabers. While Doom continues to sign autographs, I decide it will be in the museum's best interests to have a dance party in the lobby under the dinosaur skeleton. Proceed to instigate dancing despite policy of 'staying in character'. When museum employee comes over to remind of this policy, I point and blame mongrel teenaged boy. Interestingly, mongrel teenaged girls find this "cute" and decide to hang out with mongrel teenaged boy. This clone has decided that mongrel teenaged girls are strange.
2200
End of action. Unsuit and prepare report. Lose report in rush to get food as this was an exhausting troop.
82 out.
Mission: Telus Night at the Museum IV
Mission status: Success
Date: 09-Aug-14
Report:
1430
Night ops always make me twitchy. But they're part of the job, so we do them. Load up ground transport and GAR-issued wife and move out to Telus Science Museum.
1515
Make pitstop at "hobby" store to pick up more cyanoacrylate glue.
1550
Decide that food will make night op possible and keep GAR-issued wife from stabbing me. Indulge in "fast food". Grilled cheese, ham and tomato. Will discuss adding these to ration packs with procurement. Delicious.
1605
Arrive at Telus Science Museum. Meet large contingent of mongrel troops from several garrisons as well as Commander Doom, CC-12358. Excited to have a fellow clone. We're great alone but better in numbers. Proceed to explore the museum as I'm a curious clone and have never been to one before. Discover that this planet used to be inhabited by giant killing machines called "dinosaurs". Decide they remind me of dewbacks and make a note to find and domesticate one.
1730
Begin to suit up. As is right, mongrels will have 2 1-hour shifts in the public eye separated by 1-hour breaks but clones will have 4 hours of continuous trooping. We must show our younger and less perfect troopers how it's done.
1800
Move into position. An onslaught of civilians takes place. They are requesting something called an 'autograph'. I proceed to sign so many papers with my ID number that they become a single line. A handler suggests the name "Squiggle" and nickname might be sticking. Not sure how I feel about this.
2000
Doom and I decide that we are causing too much of a traffic jam and that we should let others get the attention for an hour, so we take a break. Discover coded messages on garrison CO's refreshment can. Share refreshment with him.
2100
Break is over. Time to get back to work. Move to hourly character parade places and get handed "confetti cannon". I'm excited that I'm now combat effective. The parade begins and as we move to our places, the signal is given and I launch my cannon... misfire. Try again. And again. Cannon is jammed. Jedi General asks for the cannon and I hand it to him as ordered. TIme is ticking by, the offensive is coming to an end. General tries, nothing. Tries again, nothing. One last time and KABLOOM!. General was successful in unjamming confetti cannon but hit Commander Doom in the back with the spray. Luckily the commander's armor protects him. Will recommend arms training for generals as shooting your commanders in the back goes against everything the GAR stands for.
After the excitement of the parade, Doom and myself decide that we will roam and avoid any Jedi with weapons other than lightsabers. While Doom continues to sign autographs, I decide it will be in the museum's best interests to have a dance party in the lobby under the dinosaur skeleton. Proceed to instigate dancing despite policy of 'staying in character'. When museum employee comes over to remind of this policy, I point and blame mongrel teenaged boy. Interestingly, mongrel teenaged girls find this "cute" and decide to hang out with mongrel teenaged boy. This clone has decided that mongrel teenaged girls are strange.
2200
End of action. Unsuit and prepare report. Lose report in rush to get food as this was an exhausting troop.
82 out.
Mission: Avondale Estates July 4th Parade
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Avondale Estates July 4th Parade
Mission status: Success
Date: 04-Jul-14
Report:
0730
Mongrel Shadow Scout is running late. I prepare the frozen water transport device, the troop transport and my armor. Shadow scout arrives. We load up his armor, I kiss my GAR-issued wife goodbye. Drive.
0745
Arrive at the local "Starbucks". I see very few stars while they take very many "bucks". They do provide coffee. I enjoy.
0830
Arrive at parade start location. Find men in store-bought Lord Vader, our brother Boba and other costumes. Make note to inform the real Lord Vader so that he may choke people over this atrocity. Suit up.
1000
Parade kicks off. Formation is as follows:
Sound and VIP transport containing Imperial Guard, Imposter Boba, candy distribution handlers
Imposter Chewbacca, Imposter Luke, Imposter Han, Imposter Leia
Rebel pilots
3 Generals including one newly commissioned
Superior Clone Forces including Echo and myself
Imposter Vader
Mongrel troops
Real Boba
The parade was moving very slowly, 2-3 steps followed by waiting. Then repeat. This continued for the first 10 minutes after we left the parking lot. As such, by the time we were within 50 yards of the first gathering of spectators, this clone was both bored and annoyed. I therefore took it upon myself to break formation and begin interacting with the spectators. As is normal, I became instant friends with anyone wearing red. Luckily, there were a lot of them. The mongrels followed me, as they should, and the festivities fully kicked in.
We were invited to cook-outs, we used the local sidewalks to reach all spectating citizens we could, we haggled over the price of Castle Greyskull at a local sale being held in a yard, and Echo and I even tested the durability of the hand and step rails of the sound transport. The Imperial Guard decided that we were having more fun and came down to join us.
1200
Parade ends and we return to the parking lot to de-armor and rehydrate. "Clowning around" is very hot work in this southern heat. Good thing I added an extra fan to my bucket. Also noted that armor isn't holding up in all places as expected and have scheduled time with the local repair droid.
82 out.
Mission: Avondale Estates July 4th Parade
Mission status: Success
Date: 04-Jul-14
Report:
0730
Mongrel Shadow Scout is running late. I prepare the frozen water transport device, the troop transport and my armor. Shadow scout arrives. We load up his armor, I kiss my GAR-issued wife goodbye. Drive.
0745
Arrive at the local "Starbucks". I see very few stars while they take very many "bucks". They do provide coffee. I enjoy.
0830
Arrive at parade start location. Find men in store-bought Lord Vader, our brother Boba and other costumes. Make note to inform the real Lord Vader so that he may choke people over this atrocity. Suit up.
1000
Parade kicks off. Formation is as follows:
Sound and VIP transport containing Imperial Guard, Imposter Boba, candy distribution handlers
Imposter Chewbacca, Imposter Luke, Imposter Han, Imposter Leia
Rebel pilots
3 Generals including one newly commissioned
Superior Clone Forces including Echo and myself
Imposter Vader
Mongrel troops
Real Boba
The parade was moving very slowly, 2-3 steps followed by waiting. Then repeat. This continued for the first 10 minutes after we left the parking lot. As such, by the time we were within 50 yards of the first gathering of spectators, this clone was both bored and annoyed. I therefore took it upon myself to break formation and begin interacting with the spectators. As is normal, I became instant friends with anyone wearing red. Luckily, there were a lot of them. The mongrels followed me, as they should, and the festivities fully kicked in.
We were invited to cook-outs, we used the local sidewalks to reach all spectating citizens we could, we haggled over the price of Castle Greyskull at a local sale being held in a yard, and Echo and I even tested the durability of the hand and step rails of the sound transport. The Imperial Guard decided that we were having more fun and came down to join us.
1200
Parade ends and we return to the parking lot to de-armor and rehydrate. "Clowning around" is very hot work in this southern heat. Good thing I added an extra fan to my bucket. Also noted that armor isn't holding up in all places as expected and have scheduled time with the local repair droid.
82 out.
Mission: Children's Healthcare of Atlanta / Scottish Rite Father's Day Patient Meet & Greet
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Children's Healthcare of Atlanta / Scottish Rite Father's Day Patient Meet & Greet
Mission status: Success
Date: 15-Jun-14
Report:
0800
I wake up and I'm running late. Lack of sleep during the week plus an armor party on Saturday take their toll in extra hours slept. I can't complain too much, after a rough week, sleep is great. So I get moving. Coffee, news, updates, the usual.
1000
Load the transport and prepare to launch. Kiss GAR-issued wife goodbye and instruct her to wish her father a happy Father's Day.
1100
Pick up Jango wannabe. While not really Jango or a wannabe, best description for my father in the context of this report. Provide "appropriate handler uniform" for him to wear. Wish him happy Father's Day.
1200
Arrive at Scottish Rite/Children's Healthcare of Atlanta hospital and check in with security. Express that if they'd like a security audit, I'd be happy to help. They say they'll let me know. Connect commpad to helmet system and wait for call to arrive.
1230
Armor up. Look good doing it though realize that shoulder straps are malfunctioning and suffering from a zero-G effect that is also causing helmet to not sit properly. Make a note to talk to the procurement droid.
1315
Decide that children's enjoyment doesn't have a schedule and move to the basketball court outside 15 minutes early. School mongrels in art of accuracy. They school me on mobility with a "dunk" maneuver.
Proceed to bring smiles, laughter (I'm a funny clone) and friendship to anyone wearing red. All others are treated respectfully but professionally. Pictures are taken and historically accurate locations are digitally added to the background. I have to read up on what "CGI" and "Digital Character" means. Threatened to blast mongrel implying I was one of these "digital characters", much to the amusement of non-red wearing patients and their parents. Seems the people of this planet enjoy "witty banter" even if the witty part is only coming from my side. As I said, I'm a funny clone.
1530
After taking the time to find some security holes, I call down to the security desk to discuss my findings. They are very thankful and ask us to take over nursing duties while they take a break. We comply. As the only one trained for it, I manage the phones while everyone else plays games. Note: They are very serious when they say it's "quiet hours". Boba was a liability in this respect, though he made up for it by being cool.
82 Out.
Mission: Children's Healthcare of Atlanta / Scottish Rite Father's Day Patient Meet & Greet
Mission status: Success
Date: 15-Jun-14
Report:
0800
I wake up and I'm running late. Lack of sleep during the week plus an armor party on Saturday take their toll in extra hours slept. I can't complain too much, after a rough week, sleep is great. So I get moving. Coffee, news, updates, the usual.
1000
Load the transport and prepare to launch. Kiss GAR-issued wife goodbye and instruct her to wish her father a happy Father's Day.
1100
Pick up Jango wannabe. While not really Jango or a wannabe, best description for my father in the context of this report. Provide "appropriate handler uniform" for him to wear. Wish him happy Father's Day.
1200
Arrive at Scottish Rite/Children's Healthcare of Atlanta hospital and check in with security. Express that if they'd like a security audit, I'd be happy to help. They say they'll let me know. Connect commpad to helmet system and wait for call to arrive.
1230
Armor up. Look good doing it though realize that shoulder straps are malfunctioning and suffering from a zero-G effect that is also causing helmet to not sit properly. Make a note to talk to the procurement droid.
1315
Decide that children's enjoyment doesn't have a schedule and move to the basketball court outside 15 minutes early. School mongrels in art of accuracy. They school me on mobility with a "dunk" maneuver.
Proceed to bring smiles, laughter (I'm a funny clone) and friendship to anyone wearing red. All others are treated respectfully but professionally. Pictures are taken and historically accurate locations are digitally added to the background. I have to read up on what "CGI" and "Digital Character" means. Threatened to blast mongrel implying I was one of these "digital characters", much to the amusement of non-red wearing patients and their parents. Seems the people of this planet enjoy "witty banter" even if the witty part is only coming from my side. As I said, I'm a funny clone.
1530
After taking the time to find some security holes, I call down to the security desk to discuss my findings. They are very thankful and ask us to take over nursing duties while they take a break. We comply. As the only one trained for it, I manage the phones while everyone else plays games. Note: They are very serious when they say it's "quiet hours". Boba was a liability in this respect, though he made up for it by being cool.
82 Out.
Mission: Summer Reading Kickoff, East Atlanta Library
CT-77482 reporting in.
Mission: Summer Reading Kickoff, East Atlanta Library
Mission status: Success
Date: 07-Jun-14
Report:
0815
I've been awake for hours, but now it's time to start moving. First things first, the Republic transport is filthy and full of wampa hair. Address this by flying it to the nearest cleaning bay and ordering the droids to make her sparkle.
0900
Droids complete their task and I tip them a few creds for their trouble. They did a good enough job that I can see in the panel that I need a haircut. Check the clock. I've got time. Fly the transport back to the bay and then make a run to the clone barber. Check the time, still have a few minutes so I drop by the commissary and grab a breakfast sandwich. Note that Panera is delicious.
1015
Mongrel shadow scout shows up. Seems his bike wasn't shadowy enough so he needs a ride. Tell him to load up and hop in since clones are far superior drivers. Use transport’s hyperdrive to get us to the location quickly.
1100
Arrive at East Atlanta Library. Setup is occurring. We locate our contact and let him know that we’re taking over. But it seems that we don’t have the required passcodes to get in the building, so we let him remain as a figurehead while we do the real work. Discuss timing for boots hitting the ground. Realize we’re very early. Find a donut shop, get donuts and more coffee. Wait for remaining mongrels.
1130
5 more mongrels arrive. Advise them that since I’m cloned to perfection, I should be in charge. Seems rank doesn't work like that. Must make suggestion to command, note that mongrel GCO might ignore. Get armored up.
1200
Begin inspecting the younglings that are promising to read over the summer. Discover a fire apparatus and decide to talk to the fire clones. Turns out, they’re mongrels, too. Mongrels everywhere. What I wouldn't give for just one clone brother here. Alas, I’m alone in a sea of imperfection. I’ll survive. I’ll elevate them to clone standards. I begin recruiting, telling stories, taking pictures, directing traffic, waving to passing transports and playing some game the locals call “Corn Hole”. I’m good at this game, but that’s to be expected. I’m a clone.
Child comes up with her brother. Shows me a book. It has a handsome trooper on the cover. Get picture taken with these children and the handsome clone book. Good kids… for mongrels. Give them thumbs up. They make a squealing noise. Revoke thumbs up.
Note to armorers: Impossible to enter "bouncy castle" in armor. Ground squishy and bouncy leaving me unable to gain footing of any sort. Also note that door is made similar to a fishing net and gives no support. Please adjust in next phase of armor.
1400
Discover that cooling system in armor has malfunctioned and I’m drenched in sweat. Find this disgusting. Remove armor. Decide that mongrels aren't so bad, go to lunch with them. Good taste in food. Something called corned beef. Delicious!
1600
Mongrels are still being chatty, move from restaurant to coffee shop. More coffee. Finish talking, drive home. Shake hand of shadow scout. He’s okay.
For a mongrel.
82 Out.
Mission: Summer Reading Kickoff, East Atlanta Library
Mission status: Success
Date: 07-Jun-14
Report:
0815
I've been awake for hours, but now it's time to start moving. First things first, the Republic transport is filthy and full of wampa hair. Address this by flying it to the nearest cleaning bay and ordering the droids to make her sparkle.
0900
Droids complete their task and I tip them a few creds for their trouble. They did a good enough job that I can see in the panel that I need a haircut. Check the clock. I've got time. Fly the transport back to the bay and then make a run to the clone barber. Check the time, still have a few minutes so I drop by the commissary and grab a breakfast sandwich. Note that Panera is delicious.
1015
Mongrel shadow scout shows up. Seems his bike wasn't shadowy enough so he needs a ride. Tell him to load up and hop in since clones are far superior drivers. Use transport’s hyperdrive to get us to the location quickly.
1100
Arrive at East Atlanta Library. Setup is occurring. We locate our contact and let him know that we’re taking over. But it seems that we don’t have the required passcodes to get in the building, so we let him remain as a figurehead while we do the real work. Discuss timing for boots hitting the ground. Realize we’re very early. Find a donut shop, get donuts and more coffee. Wait for remaining mongrels.
1130
5 more mongrels arrive. Advise them that since I’m cloned to perfection, I should be in charge. Seems rank doesn't work like that. Must make suggestion to command, note that mongrel GCO might ignore. Get armored up.
1200
Begin inspecting the younglings that are promising to read over the summer. Discover a fire apparatus and decide to talk to the fire clones. Turns out, they’re mongrels, too. Mongrels everywhere. What I wouldn't give for just one clone brother here. Alas, I’m alone in a sea of imperfection. I’ll survive. I’ll elevate them to clone standards. I begin recruiting, telling stories, taking pictures, directing traffic, waving to passing transports and playing some game the locals call “Corn Hole”. I’m good at this game, but that’s to be expected. I’m a clone.
Child comes up with her brother. Shows me a book. It has a handsome trooper on the cover. Get picture taken with these children and the handsome clone book. Good kids… for mongrels. Give them thumbs up. They make a squealing noise. Revoke thumbs up.
Note to armorers: Impossible to enter "bouncy castle" in armor. Ground squishy and bouncy leaving me unable to gain footing of any sort. Also note that door is made similar to a fishing net and gives no support. Please adjust in next phase of armor.
1400
Discover that cooling system in armor has malfunctioned and I’m drenched in sweat. Find this disgusting. Remove armor. Decide that mongrels aren't so bad, go to lunch with them. Good taste in food. Something called corned beef. Delicious!
1600
Mongrels are still being chatty, move from restaurant to coffee shop. More coffee. Finish talking, drive home. Shake hand of shadow scout. He’s okay.
For a mongrel.
82 Out.